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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28481856">Without the Stars there is only Darkness</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blackstarsabove/pseuds/Blackstarsabove'>Blackstarsabove</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Embers [6]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Last Kingdom (TV), The Warrior Chronicles | The Saxon Stories - Bernard Cornwell</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Blood and Injury, M/M, i still don't know how to tag</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 15:33:58</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,884</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28481856</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blackstarsabove/pseuds/Blackstarsabove</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Finan never even considered that Shitric was Mortal, not until he was bleeding out in his arms</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Finan/Sihtric (The Last Kingdom)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Embers [6]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1771612</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>29</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"I think that we all need something", Shitric had told him one night as they had sat by the bonfire, keeping watch.<br/>"Hope", he had added in Danish after gesturing rather wildly for a bit, something that he always did when he couldn't remember a word.<br/>"Hope?", Finan had asked in English, questioning both his translation of the word as well as the meaning.<br/>Shitric had nodded, looking back into the flames.<br/>"We all go some day." <br/>Finan had noticed only then that the Dane was clutching Thor's hammer, the amulet now joined by the one Finan had gifted him before their attack on Dunholm. <br/>"I don't know whether we'll go to the same place." <br/>Finan had been silent then, his gaze wandering to the flames as well. </p><p>Much time had passed since then and eventually Finan had just forgotten about it all together. <br/>They had fought in many battles and each time they could have died, yet the Irishman had never even considered it a possibility that one day Shitric could fall. <br/>Not until that fateful day in Tettenhal. </p><p>The Dane was a great warrior, almost as skilled as Finan despite the fact that he was less experienced. <br/>Maybe that was the reason for Sihtric's recklessness, if one could even call it that, maybe it hadn't been hus fault at all, maybe it had been fate. </p><p>The younger had been pulled to the ground in battle and despite Finan's attempts to come to his aid as quickly as possible, he hadn't been fast enough. <br/>He hadn't known that back then though because Shitric had just gotten back onto his feet and continued fighting as if nothing had ever happened. <br/>The rush of battle had numbed his pain for a while but then it had been over. </p><p>Finan was the first one by Sihtric's side after the battle, managing to catch him when his legs eventually gave out. <br/>The Irishman looked at their lord helplessly, trying to whisper reassuring things to Shitric while the younger tried to breathe through the pain. <br/>The Dane was trying to speak but it was impossible to catch the words and so Finan shushed him, wanting him to save his strength. <br/>It was a nasty wound, he could tell right away. An axe to the side most likely. 'Possibly lethal' was the first thought that crossed his mind. </p><p>Uhtred appeared next to them suddenly, clasping Sihtric's hand so the Dane would not let go of his own axe.<br/>So it wasn't just Finan's fear that the Dane wouldn't make it. <br/>Cold fear gripped his heart, making each beat more painful than the last as it's claws tightened more and more the longer Shitric took before he drew another breath. </p><p>And suddenly he thought back to their conversation. <br/>He clasped Sihtric's other hand, trying to get his young lover's attention. <br/>"I'll go where ever you go. I won't leave you alone." <br/>Sihtric's mismatched eyes met his own for a moment before he squeezed them shut as another wave of pain hit him. <br/>This was all that Finan could do now, reassure him, be there for him. A part of him kept telling Shitric that he would be alright, that it wasn't as bad as it felt but the other part was trying frantically to say everything that he still wanted to tell him. </p><p>"We need a healer!", Uhtred called but it seemed hopeless. Many were injured, Saxons and Britons alike. Who would care for a Dane before caring for their own?</p><p>Osferth reached them first. <br/>The monk didn't have much knowledge about healing but he knew more than the two of them and surprisingly he seemed more composed than the both of them as well, pressing fabric to the wound to stop the bleeding. </p><p>But to Finan everything that happened, the screams and crying around them as people found those close to them, dead, dying or alive, was distant. It felt surreal. <br/>All Finan could focus on was the Dane in his arms, his Dane, his lover, his everything. <br/>Shitric was looking even paler than usual, his skin almost white. His gaze was fixed on the clouds above and Finan wondered what he was thinking. <br/>"Finan", the Irishman flinched slightly, realizing that Osferth must have been trying to get his attention for a while, "turn him onto his side. He's losing to much blood" </p><p>Finan was careful as he moved Sithric, positioning his lover's head on his lap in an attempt to make him more comfortable, though it was hard to tell if the Dane even noticed anything anymore. <br/>He groaned quietly when his wound was jostled but other than that and a few weak coughs no sound left him. </p><p>Finan carded his hand through Sihtric's hair gently, trying to give and find some comfort in the familiar action. <br/>Many times he'd done it, when Shitric couldn't sleep at night or when they were just simply relaxing. <br/>The Dane's hair was always so soft. <br/>The thought that this could be their very last time hurt Finan more than any blade ever could. It hurt more than leaving Irland because if the Dane were to die then he would really lose his home. <br/>Sihtric's breathing was slowly starting to even out and Finan knew that the Dane was starting to give up. <br/>He couldn't blame him, didn't because it wasn't his choice and still he found himself screaming at the younger to keep his eyes open, to keep fighting, to not leave him. </p><p>But it was useless and they all knew it. One couldn't just tell death to walk away. </p><p>"I love you", Finan whispered before Shitric closed his eyes. He wished he could say more, could use better words but there was no time and frankly he wasn't sure if words existed that could express everything he felt for the Dane. </p><p>He had never deserved someone like Sihtric.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The following days were what Finan could only describe as hell. White hot flames eating at his skin for all eternity would have probably been a kinder fate.</p><p>As it was he was sitting in a tent day and night, holding his lover's hand as guilt and worry were slowly eating away at him. Guilt because he should have been there sooner, he should have paid more attention to Sihtric. Guilt because maybe what he had said had been a lie, spoken in the heat of the moment. Would Sihtric's God's even accept him?<br/>But even worse than the guilt was the worry, the uncertainty. What would happen to his love was already set in stone, Uhtred had said and Finan believed it to. Destiny is all. He just wished for the wisdom to decipher the words set in stone, wished to know the way that laid in front of him, whether it would lead him to the lonely grave of his heart or back to his side with their weapons raised to fight another day.</p><p>Osferth worried much. He came by every day to change Sihtric's bandages, carrying with him a plate of food for Finan. He'd sit with him for a while, tell him about what was happening before he'd leave again after urging him to at least get some sleep. <br/>Finan rarely heeded that advice because how could he sleep? How could he miss seeing Sihtric's eyes open again? How could he miss his lover's last breath?<br/>He only slept when his body failed him and even then it was only for a short time, his rest plagued by demons and nightmares.<br/>He thought that once he had even seen death.<br/>He liked to think that it had been a dream when the tall figure had entered, dark hood obscuring his face. It moved soundless, leaving only Sihtric's labored breathing to fill the lonesome silence.</p><p>"Uhtred?", Finan remembered asking even though deep down he had known who it was. Deep down everyone knew death in a way. Maybe not everyone had looked it in the face but everyone was familiar with it in one way or another. <br/>Maybe death didn't even have just one face. To some it might be a relief to others a too early end to an unfinished quest. <br/>He wondered briefly if Sihtric were content with leaving already. <br/>The strange present sat on the other side of Sihtric, glancing up at Finan. It's face was shadowed but the Irishman could make out the holes where the eyes should be surrounded by the white of bone. </p><p>Neither spoke as the night turned to day and when the first golden rays of light started streaming into the tent, death was gone and Sihtric was still breathing. </p><p>After this encounter it felt as though the days were starting to blur together. People came to visit. Osferth, Uhtred even Althelm and Lady Eathelflaed at one point. But they didn't stay longer than a few moments and then they were gone again. <br/>Finan couldn't remember how many days had passed since he had last seen Sihtric's eyes but slowly he could feel the light of hope in his heart dimming until it was nothing more than a weak glow. <br/>That night he said all that was left to say. He recalled their happiest moments, chuckling softly as he told Sihtric of the time he had fallen into a river when he had attempted to fish and that one time they had stolen some monks' clothes to have a laugh. He told Sihtric of the time they had saved him from Kjartan's men which felt like it had happened a lifetime ago. He told him of the fear he had felt then, of how important he was to him. He spoke of the future they could've had, a happy one, with their home in Coocham, spending the days outside by the river and in the meadows and the nights loving one another. <br/>Then, when he had said all there was he sighed deeply. <br/>"But if you have to leave now then I won't stop you. I won't be mad, you know" <br/>Of course there was no reaction and the light inside his heart died that very moment. </p><p>Finan was starting to move on with a heavy heart. He tried helping around the camp during the day, feeling everyone's worried glances on his back. More than once he had lashed out. But they understood or at least they tried to. <br/>Osferth had never lost anyone but Uhtred, Uhtred had lost Gisela, the woman he had perhaps loved the most and certainly the woman he had never stopped loving. </p><p>"Don't give up on him just yet", Uhtred had told him, though the defeated expression on his face told the Irishman that not even he could cling to hope in this case.</p><p>Finan had not prayed in a long time. It simply didn't feel right anymore. In the eyes of the Catholics the love he had for Sihtric, the purest emotion he had ever felt, was a sin, so how could he still pray?<br/>Instead he prayed to Freya that night, asking her to send back his love. He wasn't sure of that was how it worked, if he was even doing it right but in the end his miracle happened and just as the sun disappeared from the sky, Sihtric opened his eyes.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>It's not quite the ending I had planned but I felt like I finally needed to finish this so here we go.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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